Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
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