Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
