I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
