She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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