Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
