Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
