yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no. you can't hotbox the world.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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