Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
