I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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