i don't like sucking hair
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
