So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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