Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
