I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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