I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
