So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
