hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
