Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
