My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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