My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize