just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Be still, my beating vagina.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
