Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
