remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How naked do you want me to be?
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