I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
