So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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