remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
