But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
