I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
