i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
