omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
