Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
