Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
