Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do vagina's smell?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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