it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
