4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
