CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
