It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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