I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
