I'm lost and stupid without you.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
