I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He? As in you personified your dick?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize