We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
