Your tits are I can't wait for
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
