we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize