Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
