if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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