I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
