I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
