Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
