Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
