I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize