I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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