everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
