"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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