That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
