Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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