I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I am one with the molecules
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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