I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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