you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
