It's a beautiful day for a hangover
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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