I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
