.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
