she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
