I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
