I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
