Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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