He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Randomize
