Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
