just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am midnight drunk by noon
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
