just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
a search helicopter?!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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