On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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