Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
