I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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