now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
