What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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