careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
