I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
