I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My nipple is on Facebook.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
