I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
