the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
