If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
