That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
