I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
