Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
